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String Garden Light
A forget-me-no poem .. I am 13 years old .. care to have a reading?
Forget-me-not the coverage fair milk mauve flowers, the crying baby ... a bottle of blue of Yale. Spots of secrets through her fainting bower, covered with a blessing of their memories, indeed. His look honey is a wonder of light, a piercing look of amber in the wall of sandstone. A hoop arylide round of sight, ring of bright and ever Thrall. Ten swords pearl not sleep in an ocean-creamy thighs of the five prayer a raindrop. In taste the breeze with you the sense of movement, of an enigma, the chain of life repaired. When the fair, withered souls are crying for the death, owes its glory in the Cup deep, empty palms. They whisper to you through a deck dust breath, its enigmas of love and faults, and old fears. As the year did not bloom at stations, rich, eternities thoughts are stored in the fervor purple. buds His laughter in the breeze now shrinking, A garden of stories, the silent watcher.
yeah it's really good! I think 'stressed' poet has to change their focus. It is exaggerated and gives that striking image of the poet trapped in 15th century France, or worse, Van Gogh. Instead of talking of the beauties of nature evident in (flowers, babies, women, seasons) and the obvious pet hate of all civilizations (the souls, death, which sounds like something from Hades), why not try something that people do not expect to be beautiful, but in reality when he explained that seeing the beauty and sorrow that never saw the potential, that is changing the perception, much more important than painting a standstill. However, that does not change the fact his work is well structured, the picture is good and has avoided many obvious points. Well done! Keep writing and if it had entered into a competition I am sure we will have done well. However, just thinking about what I said. GYA YO! X sparky
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